Beyond the Surface/Confidence

Psalm 27:3
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Tonight I fall on my face before my God with humilty and trembling. Tonight I have been so encouraged by an amazing friend. In just a few short days I will be going home. Home for me is one of those places that just hurts to be at. I have so many memories there that scare me into feeling like I will fail every single time I go there. I feel exactly like this Psalm is saying. I feel like every time I go home an army is facing me. In my heart I am afraid and I can feel the war inside of me breaking out. I can be confident in knowing I can overcome though. I am encouraged in knowing that no matter what happens there are three things I am absolutely certain of:
1. That God will still love me no matter what, and even if I fail he will be there to pick me up, dust me off, and send me back out.
2. That my friends who know my struggles will always be there for me through the thick and the thin. They are already willing to come save me from the lies that I believe. They are the best friends I could ask for and I am blessed beyond belief.
3. I am not alone.

Uniqueness has been a word that has come up a lot tonight. As I sat with my friend at midnight in this little coffee shop, drinking quite possibly the strongest cappuccino I have ever had, he began speaking to me about uniqueness. I am unique. My story is unique. Your story is unique. I began to think about that and about how far I have come and how unique that part specifically is. But the best part about it is that it is not even my story!! It is God’s story. God has just proven His uniqueness in certain situations in my life, to create me into who I am today. I know today that I am not alone. I know that there are certainly going to be rough times ahead especially in these next two weeks, but I also know and am confident in knowing although I am weak it is in my weakness that He is made strong. I know that my uniqueness will be used for God’s glory as long as I continue to keep my eyes fixed upon Him and my heart set on loving people as He loves me! My heart continuously breaks for the community that I am living in. I can see the brokenness of the people in the grocery store. I can feel the presence of all of the lies and hurt as I drive and walk around the neighborhood. I just want to help because I know that God’s heart is breaking for them as well. But in this I am confident that no matter what, God is going to use my unique story to touch the lives of people who are hurting. Whether that has already begun with a youth group of homeschoolers that we spoke to or whether it is to come in the near future or way in the future, I know that God is going to use me in some big ways. Thank you for keeping me confident in that, to the people who continue to tell me that (you know who you are). As I close I want to encourage you today to realize that your story is important and that even if it hurts, the impact you may be able to have on someone else because of your story should inspire you to get out and share (even if it takes some time to share with those first few people). I promise the sharing does get easier, even if it is a rough first few times. But I challenge you to see where your confidence lies. When you find God’s grace in the midst of your mess that is where the uniqueness is found and where you can begin to tell others about God’s story of your life. You are unique, embrace it. God is going to use your story to impact the lives of others in mighty, awesome, and powerful ways.

On that note, with a prayer and with confidence in my heart I bid you goodnight. Always remember you are not alone!! Here are some amazing lyrics to the song Beyond the Surface by Kutless. Try to move beyond your surface.

I've been hiding, hiding for so long right behind my digital mask
I've been trying to be someone I'm not
All these perfectly fake people push us to insane ideals
They're nothing more than counterfeit images

That push me away, to bleed out the pain
Don't you dare to make another move

[CHORUS:]
Put the knife away that's not what anybody needs
There's a better way than everything now that you see
Stop comparing who you are to who you want to be
Let's step out beyond the surface

Don't give in to everything the world around tells you to be
Open up your mind release yourself
Stop the lying stop comparing who you are to what you see
Never letting fear hold back the change

And push you away, to bleed out the pain
Don't you dare to make another move