we are stronger

I felt like i needed to write this...



through the storm and through the fire there is truth that sets me free Jesus Christ who lives in me
You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken you have saved me it is written Christ is risen Jesus you are Lord of all
- Hillsong


I think….no! I know sometimes I forget this…
That Jesus Christ, the same Man who conquered the grave, lives in me…
He lives in me!!

and not just that He lives in me, but He is stronger than anything and everything that I am dealing with right now…

I mean…He straight up died for all the sins I’ve ever committed!!
He died for all of the problems that I am facing!!!
And He’s conquered them all…

I don’t know exactly what you are going through today, but I know that whatever it is Jesus Christ has defeated it…

Galatians 1:4
Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live.


I hope that you'll remember that whatever it is you are going though "YOU ARE STRONGER BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST LIVES IN YOU"

don't give up :)


- Joe

rest during the storm!!??

Lately I’ve been in a weird mood...

I’ve been short tempered and somewhat cranky. It’s the end of the semester and I’m tired. I’m sick of school. I’m sick of being tired. I keep trying to do thing on my own power...

and it’s not working!!!


I know I’m not the only person who is struggling with this…

I’ve had at least 3 separate conversations with people who are saying the exact thing, they growing weary and life is getting tough…

we’re sick of doing this on our own…

well….I came across two verses today that helped me and thought they would be an encouragement to you all as well.

“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him” (Psalms 37:7)

to think being STILL is something the Lord wants blows my mind…

lately I’ve been thinking I need to be doing something or praying something in order for God to move in my life…

but I was wrong…

He is simply asking us to be patient and wait for Him…


Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

This verse really spoke to me...

Even with all these burdens that I’m carrying around Jesus is inviting me to bring them to Him…

And not just give them to Him but He’ll also give me the rest I need???

What an amazing God we serve…

He loves us so much and yet we think we can do on our own power…

We don’t need to worry about anything…

There is nothing God can’t handle…

the same God who conquered the grave lives in you and me...


I hope if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by life and broken from the unfairness of life that you'll find rest...
that you'll find hope in the One True Hope
and that you wont give up





- Joe



Dedicated to my friends who are hurting (you know who you are) :)

As I sat and listened to my friends stories of pain and yet life, I was reminded of how beautiful life can be when we give it to God...my freinds stories were so amazing and so inspiring...

If you haven't had a chance to listen to a friends story in a while I would encourage you to take some time and listen to a friend share their life with you...

it might be a stretch for most of us, but i can promise you it is worth it :)

what inspires you?

we all have THOSE days.

when you have one of THOSE days, where do you find the inspiration to keep going?
when it seems like everything should just be fading...
or maybe to you everything IS fading...

what gives you the motivation to
get through the next

day...

hour...

minute...


where does your heart get inspired to continue on?

for me, i have recently found my inspiration thorugh the story of a friend. i continue to find strength through her story because the reason she shared and was open was because she heard someone else being honest and sharing. someone else's story inspired her.

i think sometimes we downplay the importance of
every
person's
unique
story.

and we forget the impact it can have on the life of someone else.

we have been blessed in our lives, whether through pain or joy, to be able to share that blessing with other people. we never know who or how our story WILL impact someone's life.

but, if we never share... how will we find out?
maybe someone will one day tell you how great of an impact your story had on them.
you will be their inspiration.

now, do not confuse inspiration and hope.
our hope needs to be found in only One.
our hope cannot be found in a blog. or a sermon. or an person, except Jesus.

Jesus' story is the best.

Jesus never fails.
people. will. fail.

Jesus is ever faithful.
people. will. fail.

Jesus is ever merciful.
people. will. fail.

Jesus is ever providing.
people. will. fail.

Jesus is ever loving.
people. will. fail.

Jesus needs to be our hope. God has written a story, you are just one character in His story. don't keep your little line or paragraph or chapter to yourself. let someone read your part. because it isn't your story, it is God's story. and without you, the story would be incomplete. there would be a missing part. let someone read your part and see how you fit into this story that God has created. and through that, let God's story shine through you to inspire someone else.

be authentic. share. inspire.
-amanda

part two.

because God created us and created us perfectly, we are not meant to live in bondage.
we are not meant to live under or live in the darkness.

maybe you're at a point in your life where you feel like things need to change.
maybe you want to change some things.
you feel like there's a greater purpose for your life, and yet you don't see it.

the cool thing is that we have a choice.
we can either listen to the lies or we can search for that beautiful purpose.
we can dwell on our pain and struggles or we can reach out for help.

the first step in finding that purpose is to be completely honest with someone. share with them what's REALLY going on. share with them your doubts, fears, confusion, and brokenness. reach out for that help and your healing will begin.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says:
“if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land”

we need to be humbled before our God. when we take the time to humble ourselves before Him and cast all our anxieties on Him, He will pour out his blessings on us so that we may be healed and free from these chains that bind us.
if we can take these steps in being honest with someone we will start to see ourselves healing. slowly but surely. it's a process. in that process we don't have to be confined to the past.

maybe you already know that though.


we don't have to suffer from our struggles anymore...WHY??
because Jesus has paid it all.


all of our failures.


all our mistakes.


all of our pain.




but maybe we've forgotten that part.
maybe we forget too often.
maybe we just take this for granted.
maybe we take hope for granted.

but our hope is only found in one place. the cross.



our challenge to you today is to remember where you find your hope. hope is not found in a blog or in a sermon or in a friendship, but hope is found through what Jesus has done on the cross for us. our hope is found in God’s word. our hope is found through prayer. Jesus is our hope.

part one.

There are many things I don't understand. I don't understand dispensational theology. I don't understnad babies. I defintatly don't understand parents either. Maybe you are going through crap right now. And maybe you feel like nobody understands you. Maybe you feel alone right now, and that nobody understands anything about you. Yet deep down inside you know you are broken and that you need a change. Maybe you don't want to hold your brokeness inside any longer. Maybe you just need to be honest with yourself. Maybe you have questions...What does honesty look like? How can we take that brokeness and turn it into healing? In this mess of a person that you've become, how can you find peace?

I know someone who can help...

I know someone who understands.
He has taken all of your pain.
He's taken all of that confusion.
All of the doubt.
All of that shame.
He's taken all of that brokeness and nailed it to the CROSS...

If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ I can promise you that "He who began a good work in you will complete it."(Phil. 1:6)

God will never give up on you.
God will always be there.
God has a great plan for you.
God wants you to have life.

Don't give up.

Today is a NEW day.

You are not a screw up, or a mistake.
You are beautiful, and made perfect, exactly as God wanted.

... (to be continued)

small dipped cone.

Has your mind ever been wandering and you just think of how many people there really are in this world? In thinking about this, have you ever thought how limited your connections are, or how very few people you truly know... or how very few people truly know you?

Today I had this revelation sitting eating my lunch at the mall. I went to the mall by myself to return something and ended up hanging out there for a couple of hours. I was just wandering aimlessly, eventually I grabbed something the eat and sat down at a table with a book I had just bought at barnes and noble. At one point I looked up and realized just how many people were around me. There were about 40 people (parents and kids) in line for the merry-go-round, about 10 people in line at subway, about 10 people in line at A & W, not to mention all the people sitting around me at tables, the people climbing the stairs, taking the escalator, in the other lines, and shuffling in and out of all the stores in the mall. Everyone seems completely oblivious to everyone else there, with the exception of those that they were there with. Then I got to thinking, if there are this many people in one mall in Grandville, Michigan... how many people are there in malls across the county, or across the state, or across the US, or across the world. And that was just thinking of all the malls!! After I finished my lunch I sat there reading my book for a while longer and then decided I wanted some ice cream. So Dairy Queen it was. I was the 8th person in line at Dairy Queen where I waited while getting walked around, walked in front of, and in one case walked into by many people until it was finally my turn to order. So I told the girl my order. A small vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. I paid and stepped to the side so that the next person could order while the girl in the back made mine. As I was waiting I turned to think more about how many people there are in the world. I was kind of zoned out but after she called my order twice, I realized she was talking to me. "Small dipped cone" was how she addressed me. I was no longer Amanda. I was "small dipped cone."

How impersonal have we gotten?

Sometimes I feel like I am just a number in this world. One thing that scared me about going off to a big college was that I would be "just a number." Then I came to Grace where not only was I not "just a number" but I was recognized as a person with a story. I was not "small dipped cone" I was Amanda. So the two boys in front of me, were not just numbers 6 and 7 in a line for ice cream. I don't know their names, but God does. God knows every person who was in every line I saw today. God knows all the people who were going in and out of every store today. God knows the hearts of all of these people. God knows everything about them, right down to the number of hairs on their head. God wants a relationship with every one of them.

This week has been kind of rough for me. It has been great too though. I have transitioned into a new roommate, so it is going to take some getting used to as far as the way she likes things. I have been getting up earlier than I have for the past three months. I have been immersed in God's word twice daily among my other reading. I have lost a job. I have made some new friends. I have had some hard conversations. Joe and I had the opportunity to talk to some youth pastors about going to speak at their youth group which was both exciting and scary. But through it all I have realized that God knows my heart and he knows what is going on even when I don't. I need to trust more in him and beleive my lies even less.

At the job I just lost I was not Amanda. I was number 84065. That was my identity. I was just a number. But God has shown how much he truly loves us. He tells us that we are his children and that he cares for us. He knows everything about our lives and that is so spectacular.

Today I am not a number. You are not a number. I encourage you to get out and meet someone today, find out something new about an old friend, and just experience life as people meant to care for people. Let someone else know that they are not just a random number, let them know they are cared about and loved.

Be Blessed. Be Honest.
Amanda

Blessings Among Pain!!!

Have you ever thought, “God why does this continue to happen to me?” We go through the struggles of life and we give them to God.

We completely give them to God, but yet they seem to keep on coming back. They seem to not understand that God has taken care of them.

I know that I’ve found myself saying this to myself many times. I’ve been so confused so many times. I’m like “God! This is yours now. I’ve given this to you. Why does it keep on coming back bother me?”

I wonder if I’ve had the wrong perspective this whole time. I wonder if God kept those struggles in my life so that I can be more BLESSED?

Blessed.

That’s an interesting word to use when talking about problems in our lives, or struggles that we face everyday. But I believe that God wants us to view these problems as blessings.

Think about it.

Looking back at my own life I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for the hard times that God allowed me to go through. I probably wouldn’t be pursuing youth ministry. I then probably wouldn’t be at Grace Bible College. Which would mean I wouldn’t have grown in my faith as much as I have.

God had a plan when I was going through those seemingly impossible times in my life. When it was happening there’s no way I would have guessed I would be where I am today, but God knew, and I doubted His perfect plan for my life.

Another blessing that has come from my own struggles has been the opportunity I’ve had to be able to witness to others because of our common bond of brokenness. God blessed me with brokenness and struggles in my life so that I can better help others feel like that they are not alone. We all have had some sort of pain in our lives and there’s no better way to use that pain than to allow it to be used by God!

So I challenge you to find your struggles as blessings today. Think of them as opportunities to defeat satan by bringing God the glory.

Just Being Honest,
Joe

Brokeness and Sunsets!

Lately I’ve been talking with a friend who is going through some amazingly hard times in his life. His future has totally changed and he has lost a big part of his life. As I talk with him though there seems to have such a peace about what he’s going through. He even says to me that “If all of this wouldn’t have happened some of the greatest things in my life right now may have never happened.” He has had a great support group surrounding him and he has turned to God amidst all this adversity. He knows that all of this is happening for a reason and that even though it’s hard there has been some great beauty brought forth from it.

The way he is handling all of these oppressions reminds me of a sunset.

Even though the sun goes down and loses its heat, it brings beauty to the sky around it. It’s a much prettier sky when the sun is setting than when it is at its highest point. That seems to be the case for my friends as well. Even though this isn’t the highest point in his life and he isn’t feeling that “hot”, he is leading a much more beautiful life in Christ.

I hope that the pain you are experiencing in your life will become as beautiful as the setting suns sky. That you will see the positive things in your life each and every day. That you would turn to the Creator of your life for the answers that are missing in your life. That you would never give up on life. That you would allow the people in your life to help you get through whatever it is you are going through.

You are not alone!

Let your pain turn into a beauty that the world can’t ignore.

My Flag is turning WHITE

Lyrics to Surrender Saved My Life :
I have had enough,
buying ashes with my love
I don't need this
I'm pursuing counterfeit
I'm worth so much more
than this
I don't need it
I don't need it

My flag is turning white
I need Your hope tonight
For the first time
Surrender saved my life

When will all this end?
Must I open up again?
I don't need this
Healing hurts a little more, but I'll be stronger than before
Yeah, I need this,
I know I need this

Keep my eyes focused, You are the long run
There's no time for giving up
We'll make it
We'll make it

Surrender Saved My Life [This Beautiful Republic]

I just did one of the hardest things I may have ever had to do. I forgave someone who wronged me. It was eating me up inside. For a couple of years I have thought that I had fully forgiven this person, but when I took a step back I realized I was just saying that I forgave them, in a very weak attempt to make myself believe it, in hopes that some day it would become reality. Today is that day. But I couldnt just tell myself that I forgave this person. I had to tell the person. I had to write them a letter/message/note whatever you would like to call it, and I told them that although they hurt me, I was forgiving them. I couldn't let what this person had done have control over me any longer. I have found freedom through forgivin someone else. I know that this journey may still be rough, but with God as my strength I can make it. I waved my white flag high and proud today to surrender this situation to God.

Is there someone you need to forgive today?

Ephesians 4:32- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.

be blessed. bless someone.
Amanda

so whatcha think?

So how about this for a logo?

Little Things

This last week I've been challenged to help others I wouldn't normally help. I can sense the Spirit pushing me to do this or that, and every time I get that feeling I start to think, "I can't do much for them. There's such a need, but I can't do much for them." I start to feel like I can't do anything for this cause of that cause because I can't completely make their problems go away.

But then these last couple of days I've been challenged to think about the little things. I was challenged to think about how if we all did something small there would be great change in the world. We don't all need to be doing these huge things that take up our whole lives. Think of how much we could effect the world if we all did things in our own community that would bring glory to God. Even if it is just helping out in the nursery at your church or making cookies for an elderly couple that you know.

All God needs is our obedience to make a difference in this world. Are we going to obey God's call to us as believers to be a light to this dark world???

I would suggest you all check out this amazing organization that is bringing everyone together in making a difference in this world. Check them out. They've been such an encouragement in my life and I'm sure you'll be challenged as well.

http://www.i-heart.org/


Just Being Honest,
Joe

Let's change the world.

I'm finding it hard,
hard to take
Mistakes we have made
Ignoring the ones
that we hold dear
Out of selfishness

All these things distract
our eyes and steal our time

Why do we keep fighting, but saying everything's alright?
We all see the same things why can't we stand side by side?
United together, we can change the world

I'm learning to take the smallest steps, and making a way
Can You take anymore?
Can You stand by while our world crashes down?

Be the spark,
forsake your pride,
set things right

Why do we keep fighting, but saying everything's alright?
We all see the same things why can't we stand side by side?
If we have each other, we can change the world

Change The World- This Beautiful Republic

This song says so much. I feel like today, as a day that the world mourns the death of two great american icons, today is a day that gives me even more passion to change the world. The death of Michael Jackson has made me wonder how many celebrities truly know who Jesus is and what he did for them. I am fairly certain that Michael Jackson did not know Jesus, but I can't know for sure, only God knows that. But the thought of a man who revolutionized the music and dance industry and culture completely, spending a Christless eternity just really saddens me. His death makes me wonder, how many people in this country and in this world have put Michael Jackson before Jesus. As I watched the news today I saw Michael Jackson fans gathering outside the hospital where he was pronounced dead, I saw people gathering at his home, I saw people gathering at his childhood home, I saw people who literally worshipped this man. There were people talking about the impact that Michael Jackson had on their lives. It made me wonder what it would be like if we could or even would talk about Jesus on television or the radio like these people were talking about Michael Jackson. On a couple of radio stations the DJs were having a time where they opened up the phone lines for people to call in and tell stories about how Michael Jackson and his music had affected their lives. What if we sent videos to the public tv station or called into the secular radio station to tell them about how Jesus has affected our lives... they wouldn't play it. Our country and our world has our values and morals all backwards. We as the general public or general society worship people who woship things. When that happens, we begin to value the same things that our idols worship. Things like money, pride, power, and appearance.

Can You take anymore?
Can You stand by while our world crashes down?

I don't want to stand by and watch our world fall apart, watch it crash. Our world needs to realize the power given us through Christ. We as Christians need to live Christ out, especially in times like this. I am not saying we need to shove religion down people's throats, I am saying we need to be the body of Christ. When the body comes together and works together we can change the world. Christ is the head to our body and the head holds the brain. When the body works together that means we let Christ decide what we need to do, we just have to listen to what our brain is telling us and go do something about it instead of just listen. We need to live out our faith; we need to love; be honest with people; share life and care for those who are just going through life with no purpose and no direction.

Be the spark,
forsake your pride,
set things right

Let's change the world... what do you think?

Tonight I begin by praying for the family and friends of Michael Jackson. I also pray tonight for the family and friends of Farrah Fawcett.

Good night my friends.
Amanda

Sleepless Morning (written at 3 a.m.)

As I sit here at nearly three o’clock in the morning I have been laying in bed for over and hour trying to get to sleep. Maybe it is the heat, maybe it is the fact that I slept in until one o’clock this afternoon, maybe it is because my brain just isn’t tired yet, or maybe it was God trying to get my attention. I sat here and many things have gone through my head in the past hour. I thought of the girls I coached in cheerleading at The Potter’s House Middle School last winter. I wondered what they were up to now; whether this summer they are making good decisions. Many of them just graduated from 8th grade and I won’t have another chance to impact their lives, so I wondered if I impacted them at all… especially the girls who quit. From those girls I moved on to the little girl I have been praying for from the orphanage my future roommate is working in, in Haiti. Then I began thinking of Maryann (future roommate) who is currently (at least as far as I know) in a hospital in Haiti. I wondered how her surgery went yesterday, hoping that she is recovering from it quickly and safely. I was thinking about when we will be roommates. The thought of it made me smile. Then randomly I moved on to where I am going to put the rest of my stuff in my apartment when I get it out of storage. That got me thinking about where I am going to get a new apartment when I graduate from Grace next May. Who will be my roommate? Just thinking about that made me realize that although I am unusually flexible with my plans, I still always want somewhere steady to call home. My move out of the dorms officially was actually a really tough decision for me. Room 102 has been my “home” for the last three years (minus summers) and the thought of leaving my “home” is scary for me. But I know that my move to the apartment was a good choice and will serve as a good transition for when I have to actually move away. Another random thing popped into my head though, changing topics in my head; I tried to figure out if the lamp I saw in my friend’s apartment last week had always been there or if it was new, but I know I have seen the lamp before, so I thought maybe it was gone for a while and was back… but why did it matter? Then I thought of my friends Anna and Shelby. I was thinking of memories I have with both of them and how great of friends they both are and how much I absolutely cherish their friendships. Thinking about them got me thinking about all of my friends in general. I thought of how I view my friends. The majority of them I see them as such amazing people and see their strength to get through certain situations. I thought of their ability to deal with the things going on in their life and from where I sit I could see their strength. I thought why would they want to hang out with me? I am so broken. I am so weak compared to them. I immediately looked to my weaknesses, but something about that seemed very wrong to me so I looked at it from a different angle. I had to turn it around and view the situation as if I were not the weak one, but the strong one. Because I am not weak; I am strong, I just can’t always see that. As much as I can sometimes only see my weakness, sometimes I can only see their strength. But we are all broken and we are all strong in our own unique ways. I think that is why we all get alone so well, because in the areas some of us are weak, the others are strong and can encourage and build us up. But I know that none of us could be strong in our own strength. It is the strength of Christ that we lean upon when someone else is weak to lift them back up. Again I thought of things that many of my friends have said to me that have impacted my pattern of thinking or my actions that they probably didn’t even know that what they were saying was being recorded in my mind. I thank God so much for all of my friends. I thank God that I don’t have to go through life alone. I love my community of friends who I can rely on for basically anything ever… I definitely recommend getting together with a group of people to go through life together.

Sorry this was super random. I think I am tired enough now to fall asleep. Just remember you are not alone. Not in your joy and happiness, and not in your struggles and pain.

Have a great night friends!
Amanda

p.s. Something else to think about... What kind of impact can you have on someone else when you tell them your appreciation for the little things they do? What kind of impact can you have on someone if you let them know what they really mean to you and how thankful you are for them? Let someone know today that you appreciate them.

The Two Legged Dog!!!

As I was waiting for my coffee at Bigby with my good friend Amanda we saw this 2 legged dog walk across the parking lot. It was so random, yet it brought such joy to my life. It only had its front legs so it balanced on them and it's butt stuck way up in the air. It was quite an amazing thing to see. The craziest thing was that the dog got around just fine with only its two legs. It's like the dog didn't even notice it had a problem. He just walked around like any other dog pretty much.

As I sat there catching up with my friend I started to think about that dog. How he was just as mobile as any other dog and he seemed okay with only having two legs.
I also pondered how I sometimes find myself thinking that "God can't use me. I'm still really young and I'm not the strongest Christian" I sometimes feel like that dog, but instead of using what God has given me I start to think I'm unworthy.

Do you feel that way sometimes??? Do you feel unworthy of God's love and grace in your life??? Do you sometimes think that you're not good enough to be used by God??? Or that you've screwed up too much for God to use you???

Let me tell you something. You are good enough for God. Why? Because of what Jesus did on the cross some two thousand years ago. He paid the price so that we could be good enough.

I hope that you'll remember what Jesus did you for you and me. And that you'll remember that you are good enough. No matter what you've done God will always accept you :)

Just think about that dog that only has two legs, and he gets around just fine...and so can we


just being honest,
Joe

three little words.

"I'm dead inside"

That is a text I got from my cousin a little while ago. She took off and left me here without saying where she was going or when she would return. When I sent her a text asking her where she was, this was the response i got.

I can remember feeling like this. Completely hopeless, completely helpless. I hate that someone I love feels this way. I don't know how to communicate to her in a different way than I already have that she doesn't have to be dead inside. But I have to try to remember what got my attention when I was that low... It was people caring. People asking me how was REALLY doing. People loving me.

Maybe today you feel like you are dead inside or maybe you feel like you have no more hope left. Maybe you are stuck in a rut feeling like there is no way out. I am here to tell you that today you are not alone and someone cares for you. You do not have to live a life of bondage anymore because Jesus came so "that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10)."

Maybe today you are someone who has a friend who is hurting and you want to help but you feel helpless. Remember this "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." You can be the hopeful for your friend or family member. Together you can overcome more obstacles than you could have ever imagined.

For me, I am no longer dead inside, but rather I have the life of Christ in me to be thankful for and to keep me strong when I am weak.

Be Blessed
-Amanda

Not my plans

Sorry this is going to be long...

How often do we plan things out, but then they really never go the way we had planned? Or, we get so caught up in doing something else that we forget why we are there in the first place.

For the past week and a half I have been in Texas. I have been here trying to help one of my cousins through a tough break up. When I got here I was so excited. I got to spend some time away from home (which was good news for me), I got to see my two of my cousins and my aunt and uncle who I had not seen in almost two years, I got to spend some time in the sunshine, what could be better right? Now for almost a month I have been talking to my cousin over the phone about her break up. I knew that things for her were bad, but I didn't know just HOW bad they were. When I got here I realized how truly heartbroken she was. There are so many places that we can't go to or things that we can't do because it reminds her of her ex boyfriend. She calls and talks to his mom and his sister trying to figure out why he would do such things or when he is going to come crawling back to her. She sends him text after text asking him why he is doing this and what did she do wrong? She gets very little sleep and there are only a few things she can eat (let me just say we have had more Chick-Fil-A in the past 9 days than anyone should have). It has been really heartbreaking for me to see her like this. She is not the same amazing cousin I have known and looked up to my entire life, and this is the first time I have been able to see her as just as broken as me.

I had all of these plans when I came down here. For one, I was only going to be here for 6 days. She had mentioned some things that she wanted to do such as go to the zoo and go putt-putt golfing and do some shopping. So I had these days planned out and was all excited, I even thought of conversations I would like to have with her. I didn't expect that she would be afraid of driving some of the places she wanted to go, or that she would have all of these things that she "can't do" because they hold memories for her. It was hard to even bring up things from Michigan because she took a couple of trips to Michigan with him. So after we did all of the things that she wanted to do or all the things that we could do, in the 6 days that I was supposed to be here, she decided that I couldn't leave yet and paid extra money for me to change my plane ticket to leave a week later. I had no idea why but I knew that I needed to stay another week. The next day I found out why. I can't really go into details but what happened left me with a very sad, very tired, quite drunk cousin. She didn't sleep much that night. I awoke to her crying at about 2 in the morning and I sat with her telling her that she is worth more than everything that this guy was doing to her. She didn't really know what I was telling her. As we sat there she asked me to read to her from Pslams. I was kind of caught off guard, I had forgotten why I was here. I had focused on keeping her occupied, not speaking truth into the lies. I had focused on trying to help her move on and becoming irritated when she wouldn't instead of showing her that God's love can overcome all and can help her through. It was a moment of refocus for me. It was what i needed to remember why I was here in the first place.

So as I sat there reading things to her from Psalms I was just glad to be able to show her how no matter her circumstances God can be her refuge and her strength when she feels she has none left. My heart was once again breaking for her, but from a different perspective this time. My heart was breaking the way that God has taught my heart to break for people when His heart breaks for people who are hurting.

She asked me to read to her again the other night when she couldn't sleep again, she said that she couldn't tell anymore which thoughts in her head were true and which ones weren't. She couldn't tell what was in her head and what wasn't. So I read her many things that night, I couldn't stop, I was just speaking as much truth to her as I possibly could. All the while, it was reminding me that I am not in this alone, as I was trying to do it for the first half of my trip. My plans didn't necessarily go as I planned, but God knew what was going to happen. God knew how it was going to play out. I am here because this is how it needed to happen. It is so much easier to focus on other things than what God is trying to show you, but when you realize what God is trying to show you it makes things so much better.

Don't close yourself off to what God is trying to show you, even when you are trying to focus on helping someone else... instead focus on God and God will reveal himself to you and to the other person/people in his timing.

Be blessed today my friends!
-Amanda

My Words or God's Words??

It's pretty early in the morning for me to be writing something, but even this early in the morning God can speak to us. :)

I was challenged this morning to consider my speaking. How I speak. When I speak. Should I speak? What should I say if I say anything at all?

All these thoughts and questions were running through my mind this morning. I've had a few instances this last week where my words were not very effective to people. I had said things I thought might help them or encourage them but they actually hindered the other person some how. I don't understand how that happens.

But this morning I was challenged to stop speaking. To stop trying to help people on my own power, but to allow God to do some more speaking.

I need to stop thinking I have all the perfect words to say and that my way is the best way to help people. When actually, God's word is perfect and God's way is the only right way.

I need to shut my mouth and let God do the speaking, whether that's through me or through the Holy Spirit.

Proverbs 25:11
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Where Is Our Loyalty??!!

Am I allowing God to take control of everything in my life? Is there anything that I put before God? Those questions have been running through my mind all day. I woke up today immediately questioning my motives, giving myself a personal evaluation. Am I doing what God wants me to do?

I’ve been reading this book called “Everyday Saint” by Jim Hampton, and it has made me think about so many different things and I’m only two chapters into it. One of the things that he addresses in the book is our allegiance to God and where our loyalty lies. He challenges to evaluate what we give our attention to. What do we desire for our lives the most?

I hope that you are daily giving God your full attention. I hope that you are allowing God to work in and through you each and every day. That you’re relaying on Him to provide for you all your happiness and not anything that this world has to offer.

I know it’s really hard to give God everything every single day. I struggle with it just as much as you do. We all do. But we are designed to bring God glory and honor. Adam and Eve were created in God’s image so that we would be like Him and bring Him glory. When we’re not doing that with our lives we start to feel depressed, useless, alone, spiritually dry, and so on. God doesn’t want for us to feel like this, but we bring it upon ourselves when we don’t put God first in our lives.

He’s waiting for us to come to Him. He hasn’t gone anywhere.

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever


Being Honest,
Joe

Beyond the Surface/Confidence

Psalm 27:3
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Tonight I fall on my face before my God with humilty and trembling. Tonight I have been so encouraged by an amazing friend. In just a few short days I will be going home. Home for me is one of those places that just hurts to be at. I have so many memories there that scare me into feeling like I will fail every single time I go there. I feel exactly like this Psalm is saying. I feel like every time I go home an army is facing me. In my heart I am afraid and I can feel the war inside of me breaking out. I can be confident in knowing I can overcome though. I am encouraged in knowing that no matter what happens there are three things I am absolutely certain of:
1. That God will still love me no matter what, and even if I fail he will be there to pick me up, dust me off, and send me back out.
2. That my friends who know my struggles will always be there for me through the thick and the thin. They are already willing to come save me from the lies that I believe. They are the best friends I could ask for and I am blessed beyond belief.
3. I am not alone.

Uniqueness has been a word that has come up a lot tonight. As I sat with my friend at midnight in this little coffee shop, drinking quite possibly the strongest cappuccino I have ever had, he began speaking to me about uniqueness. I am unique. My story is unique. Your story is unique. I began to think about that and about how far I have come and how unique that part specifically is. But the best part about it is that it is not even my story!! It is God’s story. God has just proven His uniqueness in certain situations in my life, to create me into who I am today. I know today that I am not alone. I know that there are certainly going to be rough times ahead especially in these next two weeks, but I also know and am confident in knowing although I am weak it is in my weakness that He is made strong. I know that my uniqueness will be used for God’s glory as long as I continue to keep my eyes fixed upon Him and my heart set on loving people as He loves me! My heart continuously breaks for the community that I am living in. I can see the brokenness of the people in the grocery store. I can feel the presence of all of the lies and hurt as I drive and walk around the neighborhood. I just want to help because I know that God’s heart is breaking for them as well. But in this I am confident that no matter what, God is going to use my unique story to touch the lives of people who are hurting. Whether that has already begun with a youth group of homeschoolers that we spoke to or whether it is to come in the near future or way in the future, I know that God is going to use me in some big ways. Thank you for keeping me confident in that, to the people who continue to tell me that (you know who you are). As I close I want to encourage you today to realize that your story is important and that even if it hurts, the impact you may be able to have on someone else because of your story should inspire you to get out and share (even if it takes some time to share with those first few people). I promise the sharing does get easier, even if it is a rough first few times. But I challenge you to see where your confidence lies. When you find God’s grace in the midst of your mess that is where the uniqueness is found and where you can begin to tell others about God’s story of your life. You are unique, embrace it. God is going to use your story to impact the lives of others in mighty, awesome, and powerful ways.

On that note, with a prayer and with confidence in my heart I bid you goodnight. Always remember you are not alone!! Here are some amazing lyrics to the song Beyond the Surface by Kutless. Try to move beyond your surface.

I've been hiding, hiding for so long right behind my digital mask
I've been trying to be someone I'm not
All these perfectly fake people push us to insane ideals
They're nothing more than counterfeit images

That push me away, to bleed out the pain
Don't you dare to make another move

[CHORUS:]
Put the knife away that's not what anybody needs
There's a better way than everything now that you see
Stop comparing who you are to who you want to be
Let's step out beyond the surface

Don't give in to everything the world around tells you to be
Open up your mind release yourself
Stop the lying stop comparing who you are to what you see
Never letting fear hold back the change

And push you away, to bleed out the pain
Don't you dare to make another move

Dog Feeding!

Everyday we make probably thousands of choices. Some choices are harder to make than others, and some have bigger consequences than others. Some choices affect our spiritual life. If we make a bad choice we feel like we’ve failed and maybe turn to depression. If we make a good choice we feel great about what happened and there’s contentment. Our decisions affect how we are really doing. Many times I feel like I make the wrong decision, but that’s probably because I’m human. It’s natural for me to sin and to want to sin.

A pastor put it this way: “We have two dogs inside of us, and they’re fighting for our choices. If you make a decision that hurts God you’ll feed the bad dog, but if you make the right choice and follow God you’ll feed the good dog. We can’t control the dogs; we can only feed them, one at a time Every choice we make feeds one of the dogs. If we feed the bad dog he’ll get strong and start to take us over. If we feed the good dog we will find peace and contentment.”

Of course this is just a metaphor of what God and Satan are doing inside of you. The devil tries to get you to slip up and make a choice that will bring glory to him, and God is trying to get you to follow Him and bring glory to Him.

If we follow God and His perfect will find life (John 6:47: Jesus said…”I tell you the truth, anyone who believes has eternal life.) We will bring honor and glory to our creator and He will be pleased with us.

If we follow what the devil wants we will find death (Romans 8:13: If you live according to the flesh you will die…) Satan will recive honor and glory when we make a choice that pleases him.

It’s up to us to decide which dog we are going to feed. God’s side vs. Satan’s side.

Who are you going to feed today??

1 Corinthians 10:13

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. NLT

Dedicated to a friend!

Four Walls

I wrote this as I was reflecting on my last three years of living in the dorms. I looked around and saw what these walls hold.

As I sit in the silence of room 102
I can feel my emotions flooding around me.
Every emotion I have felt in the past three years
Is enclosed in these four walls.
I have felt loved, blessed, cared for, accepted,
Beautiful, wanted, patient and kind.
But I have also felt hated, rejected, despised,
Lonely, afraid, nervous, afflicted, and hurt.
These walls have seen all of the tears I have cried,
They have seen all of my afflictions.
As much as it has been my home, and my favorite place
These four walls also make up
My prison, my escape, and my refuge.
I have told many secrets in this room.
If these four walls could talk, the things they would say
Would creep up your spine in disbelief.
I am scared to leave all of my pain in this room
But I know that it will bring more healing than I can prepare for.
Beyond my emotions, beyond all the feelings
These walls hold all of my honest screams
All of my honest emotions felt between
My twister and my cone of silence as
I have longed to belong to each.

Honest Blog

We are Honest Screams. We are a ministry that has begun because we believe in honesty. We believe in hope. We believe in healing. We know that teenagers, young adults, and people in general of today’s society are hurting. We believe that everyone’s story is important. We know that our stories will not be the same as anyone else’s story. If you are here, we want to tell you that your story is important. We believe in sharing life with people and community. We want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We have our stories and maybe some day you will hear them, but if you are struggling right now, we want to offer you hope. Maybe you are involved in self injury (cutting, burning, etc.), maybe you are involved in addictions, maybe you struggle with an eating disorder, maybe you are suffering through depression, and maybe you are just someone who doesn’t know how you are going to deal with your pain. We are here to tell you that we love you and there are healthy ways to deal with pain. We are here to tell you that you are not alone and that you don’t have to deal with this thing called LIFE alone. We want to share with you how we have found hope and healing. We know it won’t be easy for you. But we also know that it is possible. We have found hope and we have found healing through Jesus.

Isaiah 53:5 “He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our sins the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and by his wounds we are HEALED.”

We believe in that statement. We believe that Jesus was wounded and crushed and pierced and scarred so that we don’t have to be. We would love to share this with you more if you.

Ask us your questions. Tell us your stories. Share with us your secrets. We want to know you. There is a deep dark part inside of every one of us that is longing to share a secret with someone… maybe we can be that for you. We are about honesty. Honesty breeds healing and healing breeds hope. We believe in you. You can heal. There is hope. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If you have any questions feel free to message us on www.myspace.com/honestscreams or email us at honestscreams@gmail.com

We are by no means professionals, we are just people who care about other people. We are just people who know that life is hard and we want that to begin honest conversations with people.

Through our testimonies we are willing to come speak to groups of people about honesty and hope. It does not matter the size of your group because everyone needs to hear about these things. Please contact us for information.

Here are some amazing causes that we entirely support:

To Write Love On Her Arms

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Heart Support

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Post Secret

www.myspace.com/postsecret

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